I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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