everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
