May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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