I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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