I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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