What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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