I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
