Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you would pick up someone in the library
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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