i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize