I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
