I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
