Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
