Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
