Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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