Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
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Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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