Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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