Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
