So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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