Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
