I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
