he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He shit in the fireplace
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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