margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
