he referred to my room as the tit cave...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
