I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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