Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think I just sharted jello shots
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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