You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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