I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize