I think my vagina is haunted
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize