I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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