Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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