Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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