Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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