Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
