Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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