last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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