Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
someone get that fucking seahorse.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We need to get me chipped asap
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