I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
