Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i permit you to call me
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
