She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize