the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
