i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
