I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
