Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
