She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
