I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
