just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
