So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
