the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize