he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
