Can i not drive my cunt home
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
