I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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