who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
