I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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