I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
