does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
