I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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