I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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