No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The ass gains better be worth it
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