I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
